..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
