I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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