weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
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