Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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