I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
