yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
