Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
