so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
There's always time for handjobs
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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