Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
