Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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