so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
