I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
