My Higher Power is John Stamos
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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