Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
