After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
