My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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