An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
