i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize