He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Randomize
