She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
