That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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