I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
