I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
should my penis look like a turkey
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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