So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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