She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
no more duck duck goose at the bar
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
