If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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