also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
