Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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