I think i peed on brittanys purse
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize