I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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