There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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