I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Randomize
