:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
