Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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