hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize