I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize