Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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