I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
