Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
