The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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