i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
