sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize