At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
