I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
