So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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