Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize