just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
