We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
