Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
