how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
