I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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