I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Randomize
