For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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