maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
