Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
