sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
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