my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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