So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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