So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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