Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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