oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
