so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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