you guys were way drunker than both of me
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
