You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
