no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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