If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Randomize
