hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
