I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
