Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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