u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
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