i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
