i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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