So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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