You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
