Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
